The Mother of All Tinas

I've said "a mountain" instead of "a lot." I've said "the house of the twins" instead of "the twins' house." I've said "em…" instead of "um."

This is getting tina'd, a complex and multifaceted cultural phenomenon first observed by Important Scientists and later expounded upon in a Widely Respected Journal. It also Relates to Acadaemia and sometimes is discussed in Professional Settings.

I thought such verbal blunders comprised the only aspect of getting tina'd. But about two months ago I experienced a Silent Tina, meaning I got tina'd nonverbally, which is like the white buffalo of getting tina'd. To this day I often reach for the hyphen on my American computer when I really want the quotation mark.

However, nothing compares to the absurdly intricate tina I got a week ago.

It happened as my friend Maisie and I were trying to locate a bus stop. It was almost 3 a.m., and we had just finished participating in Buenos Aires's annual Night of the Museums, the annual event in which more than 170 museums across the city allow free entry all night.

We were keeping our eyes peeled for the 111 stop on Paseo Colon, a huge street with a thousand bus stops for a million buses give or take a few. I recognize the area we're on and I want to tell Maisie that I've gotten on the 111 bus before on this block.

My words: "I know I've picked it up somewhere around here."

I had a feeling I had just gotten tina'd because no one says they've "picked up" a bus unless they're, like, Mariusz Pudzianowski, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Clearly saying I've "caught" the bus would have sufficed. Thirty seconds later it hit me.

• The Spanish word for catch is coger
• But in Argentina, coger just so happens to be a curse word, meaning the F-verb. (Instead of "catching" a cab or a bus, Argentines use the word for "grab" or "take")
• Using Tina Logic™, I extended the taboo of coger to English, and subconsciously determined that "catch" was off limits in English as well
• I picked up a bus.