Rules of the Subte

The Subte, the subterranean public transportation system of Buenos Aires, is similar to the subways of New York and other major cities (lack of Helvetica signs notwithstanding). As tickets cost just more than a quarter, taking it is the most efficient way to get around town. Naturally, the Subte cars get packed, especially during peak traffic hours at the beginning and end of the workday. I take the B line to get to class and back — about 15 minutes each way — and after 40 trips or so I think I've got a handle on standard Subte passenger protocol. 


Rules of the Subte:
1. Stare mindlessly into space for the duration of your trip. Talking is prohibited. Similarly, facial expressions other than unaffected nonchalance are frowned upon.
2. Do not acknowledge the person whose face is six centimeters away from your face.
3. If you are riding the Subte with your significant other, make out with that person until you reach your destination.
4. Do not acknowledge the packs of Kleenex, Barbie stickers or Nike socks peddlers place on your knee.
5. When you are standing and someone vacates the seat in front of you, do not rush to sit in it. Wait approximately 8 seconds before non-verbally communicating to nearby passengers your desire to sit there. Despite the competitive nature of seat obtainment, you don't want to be viewed as selfish and needy for the remainder of the journey.


Let me know if you have any more suggestions. If you've ridden a subway before, you probably have an idea of what it's like. I'm still trying to figure out how some of the sitting people manage to doze off for 10 minutes on a crowded, rickety, thunderously loud train and wake up right as the train rolls up to their stop.